Repercussions (The Hot Mess Duet Book 1) by B.L. Olson

Author:B.L. Olson [Olson, B.L.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2018-08-26T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 13- Wyatt

Repercussion #294: When you go into a non-date trying to feel someone out, it is best to probably not feel them up instead. It sends an entirely different sort of message that you may regret getting yourself into.

There was a cause and effect for what occurred last night. The effect Annie had on me, and the overwhelming emotion I was feeling after admitting the short version of what happened to me, caused me to kiss her. That was the only explanation I could think of by the next morning.

Nevermind the fact that despite her apparent need to figure me out, she didn't pry or push for more information and that courtesy is something I am not accustomed to receiving from people in my life. It was easier than I thought it would be to mention what had happened in Philly, not having to speak a word of it to anyone because everyone around already knows. My old friends, my old life. They are as gone to me as she is.

Brielle.

I didn't touch on the worst parts of that day with Annie, not even close. I'm not ready for that, hell I don't know if I ever will be. Every morning I wake up with this crushing guilt and a weight on my chest telling me that it should have been me in that accident in her place.

Maybe by not talking about what happened, burying the pain and sadness down so deep, has not been the best way to cope with the tragedy I witnessed and subsequent suffering I'm enduring. Is it such a bad thing that the siren Annie is weaving her song and luring me from the depths of self-loathing and despair? Or made some progress at the very least?

Here is this fucking life force, this storm of a woman, pushing me to open myself up without really prying at all. I woke up this morning feeling better for it, my mind suddenly clear for the first time in a long time after my confession to the woman who lived next door.

I put my life on hold after what happened in Philly. I pushed away the new friends I made in the academy and at the precinct and shut out the people from my family who dared to tell me that I needed to grieve properly and move on.

At first I didn't think they had any sort of right to tell me how to process my grief, and still, they really don't. But fuck if they aren't right about me doing it in a healthy way. I know deep down that uprooting my life and moving closer to my family was the best option, and I don't doubt that decision one bit. What I do regret, however, is that I allowed myself to become the person who shuts themselves up tight and pushes away anyone who dares to come close or bothers to tell him when he is being a complete ass.

What I did to Annie last night, kissing her and pushing her away angrily is the best and most recent example of that fact.

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